Malachi 2:13 And this second thing you do. You cover the Lord’s altar with tears, with weeping and groaning because he no longer regards the offering or accepts it with favor from your hand. 14 But you say, “Why does he not?” Because the Lord was witness between you and the wife of your youth, to whom you have been faithless, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant. 15 Did he not make them one, with a portion of the Spirit in their union? And what was the one God seeking? Godly offspring. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and let none of you be faithless to the wife of your youth. 16 “For the man who does not love his wife but divorces her, says the Lord, the God of Israel, covers his garment with violence, says the Lord of hosts. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and do not be faithless.”

I believe that the primary reason for divorce in the church is the same in the world: rampant selfishness.  Now, I understand that there are extenuating circumstances (there always are) and even biblical concessions.  I’m not dealing with that right now.  I’m dealing with those who simply claim to be unhappy and are defending their inalienable right to self-centered happiness via blowing up their families.  Is this harsh?  Maybe, but it’s probably time for this kind of statement.

Malachi helps us see that our primary goal in marriage is NOT some bliss-filled happiness of someone else making much of us till death do us part.  The primary goal in marriage is to glorify God by producing godly offspring.  This makes for the happiest marriages.  No, not those who deify their children, rather those who joyfully partner with God in His purposes for marriage.

So, if we are the center piece of the equation of happiness, rather than raising godly children, we are destined to fail miserably.  Do you see the language God uses?  It is violence against the home to divorce.  Violence!  Instead, we convince ourselves it’s better to be divorced than our kids watch a bad marriage.  Except that struggles in a marriage, which everyone has, is not related to violence and rejection of the Holy Spirit.

There is healing available here, but it demands that those involved actually listen to what the Scriptures say.  If you reject the Scriptures and are rejecting the Spirit you are proving (with your life) that you are rejecting God — not that salvation is lost, but any persistent rejection of this sort could certainly prove a lack of salvation in the first place.